Poop Happens: O Holy Night

Christmas Eve communion has always had a special place in my life. That year, someone from the church had asked me and BabyGirl to light the candles on the advent wreath during the midnight service. It would be the last official act of Advent since we would re-enter the night at a few minutes into Christmas morning. The midnight crowd is always an eclectic bunch....those who feel the pull of tradition and spirituality to come and see the blessed day in at the Lord's house. An earlier service at 5PM is much more heavily attended by families with young children who must be snug in their beds before midnight to wait for Santa.

As the time approached for our part in the service, we marveled at the beauty of the church in candlelight only. Each of the massive stained glass windows lining the sides of the pews was filled with greenery and centered with one glowing taper. Light reflected off of the multi-colored glass and spilled onto the faces of worshippers surrounded by family and friends. " All is well", I thought to myself. We approached the altar and took our places behind the table containing the Advent wreath with scriptures clutched tightly in our hands. I picked up the childproof fireplace lighter as BabyGirl begain to read:

"In those days a decree went out from Emperor Augustus that all the world should be registered." " Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary , to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them at the inn."

Wade sat behind me in his usual spot behind the pulpit, and I whispered to him when I had trouble getting the lighter to work. Childproof...ha! More like idiot proof. Once I figured that part out, I discovered that the candle wicks had not been trimmed and were buried deep in four weeks worth of wax. The congregation was patient, yet quite amused, with the antics of two grown women trying to light a few candles. BabyGirl could stand it no longer, and snatched the lighter from my hand to get the show on the road. Mom took over the readings, flushing in embarrassment. LIttle did I know that the next Christmas Eve would provide an even greater challenge.

I should have seen it coming...the lost December. BabyGirl had been deeply concerned about her Daddy. Since the divorce, he had partied and done drugs way past the safe limit for a middle aged man. He always had an ample supply of whatever was available on the street, and this time it was Xanax. She began to pilfer them, a few at a time and retreated into her own little world of pain and longing. About a week before Christmas, the phone call came that every mother dreads. Out driving around at 3AM and messed up as heck, she had picked up a friend to ride with her. That friend called me saying that she was having an asthma attack and he was scared. Her boyfriend and I had already discussed the fact that she was slipping away from us and we were planning an intervention. I called her father to go and get her that night and she stayed with him to sleep it off. By the next day, she was gone again. When John and I tracked her down we went to get her and her car keys went into my pocket. She climbed into his truck and they rode around for hours as he listened to her babble and sing to the radio. My heart was broken and I was more frightened than I ever had been in my entire life. John was my rock during that time...he knew the ropes and the way to deal with her. Her best friend lives in Kentucky, and I called her in desperation. We agreed that she would come to Tennessee and pick BabyGirl up to get her away from the whole scene for a few days. What she needed more than anything was to get her head straight and come back to reality. John stayed with BabyGirl every minute until Heather arrived to pick her up. I had packed a few things for her, and as we marched her to the Kentucky bound car she scowled at all of us as if we were the enemy. In fact, we were at that moment. Out of love, the three of us had conspired to re-claim the woman that we all adored. She refused to hug me or even acknowledge my "I love you" as she rode off frowning in anger.

Snow at Christmas is quite an unusual sight in Tennessee, but it came just a few days before ...several inches of it mixed with treacherous ice. Heather had spent a long week watching her best buddy suffer through the passage back into normalcy and was ready to get home for the holiday. On Christmas Eve, they headed back this way. The snow and ice had covered the familiar landmarks and they got lost several times in the area surrounding the mall where they had done last minute shopping. Alan finally navigated his way to our little lane, and wrecked his car on the ice as he attempted to turn into the road. All those miles behind them, and a slip on the ice at the end of the journey! By the time they made it into the house where I was waiting beside the brightly lit tree, it was almost time for the Christmas Eve service. This year, we wouldn't make it. For on this Christmas Eve we had witnessed the miracle of the return of the prodigal daughter. With arms wide open and hearts full of love.

Comments

Poopie, thank God they made it back in one piece and with your babygirl back to her old self.

Posted by: kenju | November 29, 2005 at 06:34 PM

Very touching, told with the love of a mother's heart. No one else could put this into words.

Posted by: srp | November 29, 2005 at 08:31 PM

I believe these kids (I had one too) are really really special and sometimes the world is just too much for their tender hearts. I believe with ever fibre of my being that this is why they do self-destructive things. We're lucky that ours made it through to the other side, ya know?

BabyGirl is lucky that she has a mama that loves her so much.

Posted by: RisibleGirl | December 03, 2005 at 07:35 PM