Parenting is a funny thing. Sometimes it is "haha" funny right before it turns into "oh hell what do I do now" funny. There's never a dull moment for the ones who are honest enough to admit that having a child..or multiples if you are so brave, is a life-long sentence to the unexpected for a Mom or Dad. Today is the day that we celebrate motherhood. Back when my Mom was raising kids, her duty was to make sure we got enough to eat, went to church and knew who Jesus is, made passing grades and otherwise fit into the non-serial killer middle of the road pattern of doing unto others as they do unto you, all the while turning the other cheek. Umm, and there was the clean underwear thing too. June Cleaver didn't work "outside the home", but my Mom did. Then she came home and worked some more making sure that the underwear was clean in between helping with lessons and breaking up fights prior to PTA meetings. I reckon she and Daddy were even on that score. They both had two full time jobs.
Experts today would call me and my brothers "strong willed children." We seldom fit the mold that had been cast by the conservative middle class of the day. I was born in 1955 and the boys came along in '58 and '62. Once upon a time, I was arrogant enough to suggest that the baby boy wasn't "planned." Daddy busted out laughing over that one. "Hell, NONE of you were planned!" he retorted. 'Nuf said. In spite of the unplannedness of three children, we got their very best and worst and turned into adults who know who we are and cherish our heritage.
My favorite memories of my Mom are a mixed bag of who she was and still is. She taught me how to make iced sugarcookies for any holiday or occasion and how to make cornbread and biscuits from scratch. My writing ability springs largely from her love of books and the written word. One of her several day jobs was reporter for the local newspaper before the business turned into an "if it bleeds it leads" affair. Her cooking column was the highlight of many a Thursday for readers of The Dyersburg Mirror.
Agriculture is a big part of our legacy, and she and Daddy spent countless hours at the fairgrounds promoting the annual celebration of Dyer County's harvest. She met her lifelong friend Red when she was working at the local cotton gin and they shared many first weeks of September together making the county fair a tradition for the locals. Mama always did love those little ice cream bars dipped in chocolate and pecans called fiddlesticks.
Her last payin' job was in public service with a few nice people and one big bad witch as a boss. In her mid-forties she realized enough was enough with the mean stuff and walked away without so much as a glance backward at the old bat and the daily grind. Daddy said "You GO girl" and she slept for six months off and on. I was mighty glad to have the real Mom back in my life.
BabyGirl came along soon after her retirement and Mom's focus shifted to doting on her only grandchild and easing the load for me a bit. They played nurse and patient and went grocery shopping with the little plastic cart on Friday nights. Lauren cut out little heart shaped pieces of bread to make snacks with for grandmother and granddaughter and the dolls to enjoy during their private tea parties. Nothing could ever take the place of that in the memory of either of them.
When my marriage went to hell in a handbasket she was honest with me and told me that she thought I had always just "settled" for something less than what I needed and deserved. Moms know about that stuff, they just try not to interfere with the strong wills of their children. People are gonna do whatever the hell they want to do anyways until they find some peace with the whole thing. She stuck it back in my face when I started lookin' for the easy way out post-divorce. Said I was running away. I was, you know.
Mom's spirit is with me every day as I wake up and go about the business of doing MY best at being her only daughter and eldest child. Our bond is one of love, devotion and 'til death do us part and on into heavenly mansions with many rooms. We'll be the ones playing the piano, thanks to Miss Gerster Neal. It will be a duet, with the both of us pounding out The Bells of St Mary.
*muahhhhhh* Love ya. Mean it. See you after work.
^j^
I have 7yrs old daughter named Lena. I'm married to her father Ken, for 8yrs. Im usaly known as Lena's mom or Ken's wife. I guess I havent taken a stand for me. But I'm getter closer every day. (grin)
Posted by: Lena's Mom | May 13, 2006 at 08:00 PM